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What will make you Happy?

“Alice: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?

The Cheshire Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.

Alice: I don’t much care where.

The Cheshire Cat: Then it doesn’t much matter which way you go.

Alice: …So long as I get somewhere.

The Cheshire Cat: Oh, you’re sure to do that, if only you walk long enough.”

I think that we do not want to go long and we certainly do not want to go “somewhere”.

We want to go where we will be happy and in the shortest possible time.

Maybe happiness is just around the corner and you just need to turn? Or maybe it’s far far away and you have to think about how to find the best path? Or is it outside the Solar System and then you have to look for something equally nice but on Earth?

This post is part of the Destination Delight series –

find out more!

What is important?

You can find a lot of publications on how to manage time to be able to do important things for yourself. Or how to focus on them. But how do you know what is important? It turns out that knowing what you want is a very difficult task.

Ask the right question

I suggest asking yourself one of the questions below. I propose three versions of the same question. One of them will offer you the most comfortable scenario.

1. Imagine that in ten years you go to the stage and hundreds of people come to see and listen to you. How do you want to be announced? What will the person who will introduce you tell you about you?

2. How do you imagine your perfect day in ten years. What would you do? Who will you be with? In what place?

3. Imagine what you want your children or grandchildren to remember about you?

Think about a few minutes and choose one of them.

Why choose one?

First of all: Why one? In fact, this is the same question, asked in three different ways. However, when, for the first time, a few years ago, I read about this exercise, it only involved asking myself the first question. That is, the vision of going to the stage and imagining what the person announcing you will say about you. However, on my own example, I experienced that this approach would not be the best for me. The very vision of going out on stage and speaking is not very comfortable for me. During my perfect day I will gladly meet new people, maybe a smaller group and talk about more or less important matters. However, I would rather limit stage lights to smaller doses.

Forget formalities

Secondly: Why exactly are we taking ten years as the target period? This is the period that will give us the opportunity to make any changes without haste. For example, if your Paradise on Earth is in another country or continent, a move is not necessary this year. You do not have to hurry and worry about formalities right now. Simply, your vision of the perfect day is on a tropical island or a large, modern city. Which island, city, and when you move there specifically, does not matter now. We will deal with the formalities later.

The main goal is that your answer gives you a general vision of your happiness. Without limiting yourself to details and worries. It does not matter if you achieve this vision in five, ten or more years. Importantly, it may change over time and this is perfectly normal. There may be various unexpected circumstances. For example, there will be a very favourable job offer that will affect your financial situation or the amount of free time you have at your disposal.

Take time

Thirdly: it is very important not to do this exercise once and in one day. As I mentioned earlier, our vision may change over time. Sometimes it is worth giving yourself a few days, so that your current emotional state does not introduce disturbances. For example, you may be under pressure at work, at school or in college. Transient but important problems can push you towards focusing on immediate solutions. For example, you will focus on changing your job as soon as possible. Remember that grass seems greener on the other side. Give yourself more time to think about a change which will be the most beneficial for you.

To summarize,

the action plan is:

1. Think about which version of the main question is the most comfortable for you.

2. Think about how the situation will look like in ten years, without dealing with the formalities and practical details now.

3. Try to break away from the current situation, temporary problems and matters.

4. Write down your thoughts – they will be useful later

5. Repeat the exercise in a few days or weeks.

“Alice: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?

The Cheshire Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.

Alice: I don’t much care where.

The Cheshire Cat: Then it doesn’t much matter which way you go.

Alice: …So long as I get somewhere.

The Cheshire Cat: Oh, you’re sure to do that, if only you walk long enough.”

This post is part of the Destination Delight series –

find out more!

Not somewhere and not sometime
I think that we do not want to go long and we certainly do not want to go “somewhere”. We want to go where we will be happy and in the shortest possible time.

Maybe happiness is just around the corner and you just need to turn? Or maybe it’s far far away and you have to think about how to find the best path? Or is it outside the Solar System and then you have to look for something equally nice but on Earth?

Ask the right question
You can find a lot of publications on how to manage time to be able to do important things for yourself. Or how to focus on them. But how do you know what is important? It turns out that knowing what you want is a very difficult task.

I will write about it on the Twirling Hair Blog, and today, for starters, I suggest asking yourself one of the questions below. I propose three versions of the same question. One of them will offer you the most comfortable scenario.

1. Imagine that in ten years you go to the stage and hundreds of people come to see and listen to you. How do you want to be announced? What will the person who will introduce you tell you about you?

2. How do you imagine your perfect day in ten years. What would you do? Who will you be with? In what place?

3. Imagine what you want your children or grandchildren to remember about you?

Think about a few minutes and choose one of them.

Why one?
First of all: Why one?  In fact, this is the same question, asked in three different ways. However, when, for the first time, a few years ago, I read about this exercise, it only involved asking myself the first question. That is, the vision of going to the stage and imagining what the person announcing you will say about you. However, on my own example, I experienced that this approach would not be the best for me. The very vision of going out on stage and speaking is not very comfortable for me. During my perfect day I will gladly meet new people, maybe a smaller group and talk about more or less important matters. However, I would rather limit stage lights to smaller doses.
Forget formalities
Secondly: Why exactly are we taking ten years as the target period? This is the period that will give us the opportunity to make any changes without haste. For example, if your Paradise on Earth is in another country or continent, a move is not necessary this year. You do not have to hurry and worry about formalities right now. Simply, your vision of the perfect day is on a tropical island or a large, modern city. Which island, city, and when you move there specifically, does not matter now. We will deal with the formalities later.

The main goal is that your answer gives you a general vision of your happiness. Without limiting yourself to details and worries. It does not matter if you achieve this vision in five, ten or more years. Importantly, it may change over time and this is perfectly normal. There may be various unexpected circumstances. For example, there will be a very favourable job offer that will affect your financial situation or the amount of free time you have at your disposal.

Take time
Thirdly: it is very important not to do this exercise once and in one day. As I mentioned earlier, our vision may change over time. Sometimes it is worth giving yourself a few days, so that your current emotional state does not introduce disturbances.

For example, you may be under pressure at work, at school or in college. Temporary but important problems can push you towards focusing on immediate solutions. For example, you will focus on changing your job as soon as possible. Remember that grass seems greener on the other side.

Give yourself more time to think about a change which will be the most beneficial for you.

To summarize
To summarize, the action plan is:

1. Think about which version of the main question is the most comfortable for you.

2. Think about how the situation will look like in ten years, without dealing with the formalities and practical details now.

3. Try to break away from the current situation, temporary problems and matters.

4. Write down your thoughts – they will be useful later

5. Repeat the exercise in a few days or weeks.

Twirling Hair

Boredom must be interpreted as the time for Twirling Hair. In the sense that the best solution for boredom is to give yourself time for constructive unproductivity.

Well deserved cookie

Do you reach for a cookie or other healthy snack while working or studying? An intellectual mind burns more calories and likes sweets very much.

Achieving goals – being not that SMART

Set a goal and achieve it, be hard, or be condemned.  You set yourself a specific goal and tell yourself that unless you lose weight, you will not be happy, healthy, rich, etc.
So what to do? Do not lose weight? Yes, but in a slightly different way.

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